Coping Part I: The Initial Reaction

To be honest, I wasn’t surprised and neither was my husband.  Not at first.  Having dealt with PCOS for 8 years leading up to this moment and had been very open with my husband in our dating phase that conception may be challenging for me; we kind of just expected to hear, “It’s going to take a little extra effort for you to get pregnant.”  That’s why we literally started trying to grow our family on our wedding night because we didn’t want to lose any time in figuring out whether or not we were going to need some help.  It’s what was coming that we didn’t know yet that would begin to slowly break our hope – especially mine.

The first doctor I was seeing for my fertility and hormonal issues was my regular OBGYN.  Her approach at first was very simple.  Operation ovulation was the goal and she encouraged me to try and drop some weight while taking Progesterone supplements to aid in helping me ovulate and have regular cycles.  So, for three months I tried to lose weight and took the supplements which were successful in helping me have regular cycles, but wouldn’t necessarily guarantee that I’d ovulate (which I wouldn’t find out until three years after the fact.)  After three months of doing as instructed, there was still no pregnancy.  Her response came as a shock to me.  With a very straight face and even tone, she said, “You’re just going to need to go to Seattle for IVF because nothing else is going to work.”  This is where the hopelessness started to creep in for me. 

Convinced that going straight to IVF couldn’t be my only option, I asked if she would refer me to the local fertility clinic that was conveniently located right across the hall from her office and a clinic where all my charts would automatically be accessible for them to review.  She agreed and sent me on my way.  My experience with this clinic was awful and expensive to say the least.  There is so much to say about my experience with this place that it will have a series of blogs devoted just to it so, for now, I’m going to say this; my hope completely died for the better half of a year because of my experience with this place.

If I can encourage anyone in one area of their fertility journey it’s this.  Do your research about your local clinics.  Read every review, ask as many questions of anyone you know who’s be a patient there, research the procedures they offer and medications they use, and ask as many questions you can when you do a consult.  Had I done more of these things I could have saved myself a lot of discouragement and a lot of brokenness, but I didn’t.  My hope is that you can.